who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
