i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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