No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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