so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
