dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
