That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
