What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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