The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
