I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
