nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
