Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
