My brain says no but my pants say off.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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