My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
