Porn is love you can see.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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