are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
