Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize
