whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
