i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
