So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
