the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize