I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
