it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
