Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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