There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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