Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
