yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Congratulations! We have a period
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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