Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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