i jhust puked up my retainher.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
