watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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