she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
