he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
