Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize