I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
