you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
