you're like a bully in the Christmas story
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
