Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I touched a dick in church today
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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