More tranny stories later!
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
