plz talk dirty to me
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
