he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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