brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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