Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
