That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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