if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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