McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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