Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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