...so i touched it.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Randomize
