I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
