his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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