Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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