smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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