uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
