why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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