ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
