This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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