FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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