i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
