lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
