Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
