I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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