oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
