normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
