three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
