i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize