I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
